Self-discovery is a continuous process. It calls for diligence. Most times, we feel it is too much work so we just live our lives without paying too much attention or without being aware of our feelings. Another way of self-discovery is by paying attention to what makes us angry or mad. Most times, we become so angry when we encounter this external stimulant that we cannot pay attention to better understanding ourselves.
Paying attention “to what makes angry” is an authentic facet to self-discovery. Why do I say such? Lets look at it. The reason why I am angry is never new. Sometimes we may say, “First time that has happened to me, I do not know what, I just blew up”. However, was it really the first time? For an external stimulant to act as a first time cause is possible and it is frequently happening. However, these may not really cause an explosive reaction or break down in a relationship. If it’s really the first time it can be worked on to improve the relationship. An apology is sometimes adequate.
However, the anger that originates from an incident of the past has a greater tendency to destroy a relationship. Let us look at it. Again, it takes us back to the “child within us”. Let us go through a little exercise. Close our eyes and return to what really makes us angry as adults. Is it originating from an external source that really makes our blood boil? For example every time somebody does X to us, our anger rises. Once we have identified the “x” of the external cause, that drives “pushes out” our anger….. we stay with it for a few seconds. Most times that, external action most probably from someone other than ourselves, has already happened to us in the past and this present x situation serves as a reminder of that initial incident. This present occurence may not have happened in the same manner with which it may have happened as an child in the past.
What I am trying to say is that this “external situation” may just remind us of a similar scenario when we were much smaller or younger. The memories and emotions of this scenario are still present in our mind and body. “The body itself has a way of remembering.” They remain as unresolved issues that lie deep within us. They lie inside within the inner child waiting for the opportune moment to “gush out “from us. It is important to remember here that this “manifestation” of this emotion happens in the adult stage of the person. Therefore, this inner child with this unresolved issue of “this particular anger” explodes or gets into a temper tantrum within us, and controls us. This is all figurative language here. It is an analogy. What I am trying to say is that our anger expressed violently can be a sign that there are still unresolved issues in our lives that probably should be looked at, now that we are adults.
It is important to take it easy in this process of self-discovery. Here I refer to the repeated and continuous manifestations of anger (violently) that may be a source of an unresolved issue that we experienced as children. This reaction happens within the sub-conscious. It happens very quickly. As soon as we encounter this external stimulus (one that make sour blood boil) we almost immediately subconsciously regress to our child inner unresolved experience. There the child takes over. Children do get temper tantrums so too adults. This may not happen to everyone of us. However, it does happen often enough. We react instintively, not pay attention. How many are the times we have said “I can’t tell you why I became so angry. There was no logical reason for this explosion.” Well children’s minds are not yet been developed within the logic phase of reasoning. They are not able to analyse, synthesize, or evaluate a given situation. Sometimes they may act impulsively. Here impulsive reactions are not always negative. However, if as adults we always act impulsively without enough reflection, then there remains a cause of concern.
Again this may not always be true, but in some cases (maybe not many), it can be a reality. In these cases, we begin the process of inner healing of this child as has been previously mentioned. May the Holy Spirit guide and lead us into our inner path of self discovery.
How do you show anger? Great question to start a discusion here?
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